My chaotic life...

Thursday, 7 April 2011

A little look at my life!

Okay!... Where on earth do I start? I have so much going on at the moment, I don't even know where to begin!.. 

My past:
In primary school, I was badly bullied (Physically). This happened from reception to year 5. All the teacher knew it was happening, my Mother was constantly in school trying to help the situation, yet nothing happened! My mother took me out of the school, and appealed for me to attend another nearby school!..
In this new school I was partnered up with a group of girls that were a similar ability to me. The main girl I was paired with then went on to emotionally bully me at high school. (Now i know that she has been diagnosed with bi polar disorder). This emotional abuse has seriously affected my life! I try my hardest to suppress it, but when times get stressful I always think back to all the put downs and think 'she was right, I am a waste of space'. I actually think like this at least  10 times every day. ... I had a very supportive family growing up (Mothers side, My dad's family are loony!) I seriously doubt I'd be here now if I didn't have them!

Last year, my parents split. My dad has always been very quiet, and everyone considered him harmless and lovely! They had been together for 25 years, and my mother has always worked hard to provide for her family by climbing the ladder at work and striving to achieve the best she can (family is very very important to her too - she is not career mad!). Yet my dad has always worked at the post office (nothing wrong with this), the problem is he has no motivation to progress. My mother has always put double what my dad has into the joint bank account, and now he has left, cashed in his pension (for 10K less than if he'd of waited 5 years!), agreed to early retirement (for 13K), bought himself a sports car, moved in with his new gf, been on a 2 week caribbean cruise with the gf, bought her an expensive ring and proposed to her, and bought a house he plans to rent out. 
All this over the last year, and at the same time he hasn't payed any child support for my brother, not tried to keep in touch with either of us, told me he has no money to help me out at uni, not payed towards the morgage of our house, and is trying to get 100K from my mother!!! 
Also, at uni due to my trust issues from high school, I didn't bond with my flat mates. And I really hate living in my halls as I feel I don't connect with any of them!.. I'm only in uni 8 hours a week, so I am constantly bored! & my timetable changes every week, making it hard to find a part time job!...
My mother is also having medical problems atm, and is having an operation next week!
So much stress! 

So why can I only see the negatives? I feel that people just don't care anymore! They are so wrapped up in heir own lives to see past their own finger nails! Where has the compassion gone???

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